Shirley Disapproved
by Sharpsword
Summary: Five ways Jeff &Annie got together in decidedly non-Greendale Shirley Disapproved ways. I post all my stories on LJ& Milady/Milord, decided to post them all here now & revive my ff account.
1. Chapter 1

**Five Times Annie and Jeff Got Together in Decidedly Non-Greendale, Non-Shirley Approved Ways**

Or

**Shirley Disapproved**

Part One

_In which Annie is a gold-digger and Jeff is one rich lawyer._

Funerals. See, the thing about funerals was that – well, something. She's not in the mood for philosophy at the moment. She needs to concentrate anyway. There are a million and one single rich men (and women, but that's one area she's not ready to experiment with just yet) at Michelle Slater's wake, and Annie needs to find one stupid enough to fall for her and give her money, smart enough to not make a sound when she leaves after some months with piles of aforementioned money and hot enough to make sex fun.

You'd think that'd be hard to find.

_What most girls_, Annie thought as she picked up a delicate glass of crystal filled with some fancy wine, _do is: they go to some old codger's funeral, snag themselves a… what is it called? A sugar daddy, then complain that they have to close their eyes tight in the bedroom and churn out more fake moans than a porn star._

Smiling gently at a tiny little girl, who was standing next to someone who looked enough like her to be her mother, Annie walked on, fast enough to not be caught by unwanted eyes, but slow enough to window-shop.

_Too short…  
Too bald…  
Bad teeth…  
Definitely not, he's still carrying his dead wife's picture…  
Why has that man brought a date to a funeral? And why is the date a person in a Dalmatian costume?_

She's seriously judging Slater for the crowds she used to run in, if there are so many crapazoids mingling with the finery that was the tall, rich and handsome.

Speaking of.

She feels a blush creep up her neck, and a jolt of heat travel through her body. Annie hadn't felt like that in… ever. She had definitely found her target.

He was tall ("Freakish, almost," her inner eighteen-year old commented while the rest of twenty-year old Annie told Other Annie to shut up). Broad shoulders, blue eyes, perfectly imperfect bed head, crisp dark suit, light blue shirt, skinny tie, air of self-assured dickishness…

He was amazing to look at, knew how to dress, seemed rich and was a confident man.  
Target? Forget it. He was prey.

*

Jeff Winger… was getting a little bored. Sure, at the funeral he was all ''.

But now he's moved way past that.

He'd dated Michelle for a while, yes. She was his first real girlfriend after years of simple one-night stands, yes.

But everyone kept acting like they'd been married for fifty thousand years – and happily.

So he'd been feeling guilty, which was a new emotion at first, but it got boring really fast.

Now all he wanted was a glass of scotch and maybe some nice girl to – _who is that?_

Tiny. Black designer suit. Dark brown straight hair, big dark blue eyes. Youngish. Sexy.

He has never seen this woman before in his life.

_She's sneaking looks at you, Winger. Stop being gay and go pork her. That'll even get all these busybodies to stop acting like you're a widower. Let me tell you, I've filled that role about three times, and –_

He cuts of his inner Pierce Hawthorne (sixty-six, dick, head of Hawthorne Wipes, kind-of-friend) and makes his way towards her, even as his inner Britta (twenty-nine, therapist, cat lady, sort-of-kind-of-best-friend) starts up.

_Oh, come on, Winger, she must be at least twelve years younger than you. Holster it._

Don't Britta my evening!

He needs to meet his friends-not-friends again. The whole simulating-conversations-in-his-head thing has to go. It's ruining his cool.

*

It doesn't take Jeff too long to realize exactly what Annie Edison is.  
He should be getting her clapped in iron or something, but the usually repulsive idea of someone being a gold-digger (look, Jeff worships laziness, but don't go mooching off people who've fought the gods of laziness themselves) has turned into the sexiest and most adorable idea for a woman's job - _ever._

If he'd met Annie anywhere else, he'd think she was a lawyer. Or a very hot kindergarten teacher.

*

He's told her he's a lawyer and that he's partner of his firm and everything.

*

He's floored her with two Winger Speeches.

*

She just gave a little girl (the only little one present) who'd fallen down a kiss on the head and a bracelet. Is this woman for real?

*

She's turning twenty-one in a week.

*

Screw it, he's kissing her.

*

Annie wants to say _mission accomplished_. She can feel the looks Jeff is bestowing even when her eyes are turned away, she can feel his big warm hand on the small of her back, she can practically feel him falling in love.

It's all normal.

Procedure.

But she's not acting normal. Her heart is beating faster, and she's blushing, and she's losing arguments, and – okay. He's kissing her. She's going to stop thinking now.

*

"You knew what I was doing?"  
"Yep."

Annie fell back into the soft cushions with a disbelieving huff.

Jeff moved, leaning on one elbow to face her, then smirked (the same delicious smirk that got her to shamelessly jump his bones).

"Are you that bothered I cracked your cold exterior of ice and deceived you?"

She contemplates glaring at him, but is sidetracked by a sudden awareness of sore legs, which makes her think of last night, which makes her hope for some more… okay, okay, this man has turned her into a horny animal. She barely remembers sleeping last night, and she's already-

*

In between kisses.

"I'm not going to give you money like some idiot sugar daddy, if you stay."  
"I don't really care."

He moves down to her chest, and started kissing… sucking… licking... She throws her head back in pleasure.

"I'm staying."  
"Good. Because I wouldn't have liked to stop this."

*

"Milady."

She smiles and walks past Jeff into their condo (it's theirs!) to drop her suitcases indiscriminately (or in prefect lines, so sue her). Then she turns and feels her smile grow wider.

"Milord."


	2. Chapter 2

**Five Times Annie and Jeff Got Together in Decidedly Non-Greendale, Non-Shirley Approved Ways**  
Or  
**Shirley Disapproved**

Part Two

_In which they're vampires. And Annie hates him._

He threw Rich against the wall. Hard.

(It gave him immense amounts of pleasure, after so many months of pretending to like Dr. Do No Wrong.)

"I'm sorry, I'm sor-" Bastard was still trying to save himself.

_"I told you what would happen if you crossed me, Rich!"_

"I swear I wasn't trying to expose you!"

"So you're trying to say you're just extra stupid then?" He thundered, towering over the grovelling heap that was still trying to defend itself.

"I was only trying to see if it was possible to reverse your condition!"

"By talking it over with a priest who hates vampires and would obviously kick-start an investigation into the people you know to filter us out?"

Rich subsided into silence. Good. He was irritating enough as it is, but Rich snivelling was disgusting to watch.

Jeff crouched down and grinned at Rich.

"I hate stupid people, Rich. And perfectionists who try to undermine me in front of people I care about. Unfortunately for you…"

Rich started to scrabble backwards and claw through the wall. (Typical behaviour for people who were facing him and knew they  
were going to die.)

He sighed and tilted his head to the side, before letting the full blown ear-to-ear grin that had been threatening to break out ever  
since he cornered Rich to… well, break out.

"Well, you seem to have guessed what happens next."

Fangs out. He can do this part with his eyes closed.

*

She used to have an awesome life, you know? Intern at a law firm, nice group of friends… Her life used to be on track, in general.

Then her boss decided to fall in love with her and kill her.

Or, you know, turn her into a dead-undead person.

Okay, fine. Not boss. Boyfriend/mentor-at-firm.

(She'd say "so sue me", but really, no one can. That's how good Annie is at her job.)

Draining the blood bag she'd been sipping from, she tossed it to the side, rinsed her mouth with water, popped in a mint, and got out of her car.

Friday. A weekend beckon - the phone is ringing. Where's her damn phone? Oh, crap. Oh, crap. She's locked it in the car.

Throwing open the door (and denting it in her haste – a year and she still hasn't got used to her strength) she dove into the car and  
rummaged through the stuff she'd left behind until she found the phone.

"Hello?" She asked breathlessly.

"Annie? Hey, uh, it's Troy. I'm calling from a pay-phone near that diner Britta works at. You may wanna come down here. Like, now."

She frowns. "What? Why?"

"Jeff _kinda sorta_ almost killed Rich. Like, his body's here and he's not _breathing_ breathing, but he is _breathing_-"

Throwing her phone and briefcase back into the car, she slammed the door and jammed her key into the ignition.

*

Jeff was surprised. Britta'd warned him in the morning about the cops showing up and Shirley seeing the body, so he knew that Shirley'd tipped Troy and Abed off. So either they hadn't told Annie, or she was biding her time (for some reason) before lecturing him about hurting her friends.

Maybe he should have left a post-it next to Rich in that alleyway with a small note on it. Something poetic like, **HE TRIED TO GET US KILLED**.

His intercom buzzed. "Mr. Winger? Ms. Edison is here to see you."

He grinned and told his secretary to let Annie in.

Before he knew what had happened, the tiny little can of Blood Fizz had come in, locked his door, walked over to him and thrown him across the room.

*

She shouldn't have done it. There'd be consequences to pay now. Jeff was fifty times stronger than her, and about seventy thousand times more crafty.

He got up slowly, from the corner he'd landed in, then brushed his suit (this was the one that cost six thousand dollars, if she wasn't mistake- STOP THINKING OF THESE THINGS, ANNIE) off lightly. He smirked at her. "Good afternoon, Annie. Want a drink? Or why don't you take a seat?"

She whizzed across the room and lunged at him, but (as expected, really) before she could say _"oh crap",_ he had her pinned to the wall by the neck.

*

He let her yell (or talk in a strangled voice, whatever) at him about how Rich was her friend and he was an ass and he'd failed anyway, Rich was still alive, yadda yadda yadda until she'd realized he wasn't listening.

Once she had stopped talking, he asked her if he _should_ have done the post-it (and note) thing.

That got all the fight out of her.

Then he explained properly about everything Rich did and how he _had tried, really_ to not kill Rich (lies, but what did she know?).

Her eyes widened.

*

"I'm sorry."

God, she'd never seen him look so surprised.

Jeff let her go and backed up to his desk. "You're what?"

"It's hard for me to imagine you could have a good reason for trying to kill someone, and… sorry, okay? I didn't think you'd have a  
reason. I thought you just did it to spite me."

He frowned at her. "_Why_? Why is it so hard for you to believe I'm not some homicidal maniac?"

Her head whips up and she gasps indignantly. He's really asking her that?

"Maybe it's because you tried to turn me into a damn _vampire_ and ruined our relationship by the aforementioned turning!"

He made a scathing noise. "You still hold that last part over me despite the fact that _you never loved me_."

"I did! I still do, damn it! But I also hate the fact that you killed m- mmphg!"

He was kissing her and it had been a long time, and he's awesome at kissing, so stop judging her, okay?

*

"So… hate sex?" He hates himself for asking, and for letting hope practically drown his words.

_Please don't pick up on it, Please don't pick up on it…_

She looks up from where her head was perched on his chest and raises an eyebrow.

_Damnit._

*

"So… all you guys needed was hate sex and reassurance that you loved each other?"

She knows how stupid it sounds, but she settles for a sheepish shrug.

Britta sighs and rolls her eyes at Troy while Abed looks disapproving.

"You could have saved the audience some time, you know."

He tries to go on about how she and Jeff had resolved their problems in the crappiest way possible, but Jeff materializes suddenly next to her and places a soft kiss on the side of her forehead.

"Milady."

She can't help it.

"Milord."

Shirley groans and threatens to stop being their police – and only human – confidant.

(Well, Shirley barely likes the fact that she's friends with five vampires and a rascist old man anyway.)

Oh, yeah! She has to tell Pierce that Jeff and her are back together!

(Not that he's gonna like it.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Five Times Annie and Jeff Got Together in Decidedly Non-Greendale, Non-Shirley Approved Ways**  
Or  
**Shirley Disapproved**

Part Three

_In Which She Accidentally Killed Someone_

Jeff studied the woman in front of him.

Youngish, big blue eyes, straight brown hair… and obvious gears turning in her head.

She'd just finished making her introductions. What, why, who…

He leaned forward. "So you're innocent and you want me to prove that?"

Annie looked down, and a faint smile played around her lips. Then she looked up again.

"I'm not innocent, Mr. Winger. I_did_ kill that cook."

*

She saw the surprise flick across his face for a moment, then – not even subtly – he looked impressed.

She sighed. Why must the only time she impresses some very hot specimen of the human race be when she's trying to hire said specimen to convince a judge that she hadn't killed her godfather's cook?

Taking a deep breath, Annie tried explaining about how she'd realized that Pierce's cook had been selling pills on the side, and that the cook had tried selling to her, capitalizing on her history of high-school drug abuse. Annie had refused and then tried to expose him to Pierce.

She had tried _thrice_ before deciding she might just replace the sugar pills Pierce used with some similar-looking drugs, working on some half-assed plan of Radison using them for Pierce's tea… then her making it look like he was trying to kill Pierce…

That plan had gone to hell when Radison decided to make some tea for himself, dump four "sugar" pills in his cup and die of OD-ing on a drug she barely remembered the name of.

*

Okay, so she wasn't a cold-blooded murderess. But the sex appeal was still there, mostly because she had basically told Jeff about conspiring against a damn cook to get him fired just because he'd tried to sell her pills.

But he didn't sleep with his clients.

Client's wives – okay.

So he shouldn't be thinking about bending her over his desk and trying to make her dark blue eyes turn darker…  
Stop, Winger.

*

"Okay," Jeff said, walking back into the room, after retrieving what looked like every piece of paper in the world, "these are questions that might be asked tomorrow in court."

It's the last day before they went to court. Annie was _freaking out_.

She took the heavy sheaf of paper and looked up at Jeff. "So you're going to coach me through each question?"

He smirked and sat next to her. "That part is easy. That list is of questions that have only one answer."

She frowns. "What is it?"

"No."

*

She was sitting on the steps in front of the court house, holding a cup of coffee and looking very composed. Only on closer inspection did Jeff realize that she was tapping her fingers against the side of the cup, and re-adjusting herself on the steps a few  
times per second.

"Hey," he said, coming to a stop just in front of her. (He noticed in his quick – and now habitual – glance at her chest that she'd decided to play Cool Business Woman and wear a tailored suit.)

"You're _late_. You said we'd meet thirty minutes before we have to show up. You're _ten whole minutes_ late." Her tone was reproachful as she got up, wobbling a little, to go inside.

He smiled and defended himself, letting one hand drift to the small of her back.

Once inside, he quickly pulled her towards the teeny cafeteria and told her to sit down, while he nipped in the bathroom.

Five minutes later, he was washing his hands and Edison was storming into the bathroom, freaking out. Again.

*

"Jeff, I need some reassurance, okay? I killed him, and I just realized I'm not worried about having sort of killed someone, I'm impatient for it to get over. I was freaking out yesterday for the same reason, then you came and gave me that list and I forgot to be worried about not worrying, and am I bad person? I essentially killed a guy and all I care about is my attraction to my much older lawyer and not wasting time in court."

He'd been looking carefully amused, until she reached the part about her being attracted to… him.

So, usually, before he's going to fight a case, he doesn't let anything distract him, because he needs to turn into Tango, the badass lawyer who wipes the courtroom floor with prosecutors. (The Jeff Winger doll was probably in the process of being manufactured at that moment.)

But, okay, he'd been handling an inconvenient crush on a twenty one year old not-murderess, and… they're in the men's room.

He leaned closer to her until his chest was a hairsbreadth away from her folded arms. She looked up at him with suddenly panicked eyes that screamed _Oh shit what did I just say?_

He smirked. "What?"

*

Her head was banging against the wall.

She didn't care, as long as Jeff was the reason she'd be having the inevitable headache later.

Her hands tightened around his neck as she started feeling bigger and bigger waves of bliss crash onto her.

He grunted and changed his position, and all of a sudden, every time he moved in and out of her, he was brushing against – _somewhere_awesome, because the waves started crashing into her faster and faster and harder and she wasn't sure if that was Jeff pushing into her or her imaginary waves and – _oh, god._

She relaxed and exhaled, falling back against the cold bathroom wall just as Jeff let go with one final thrust.

*

He should start having sex before every time he has to go to court because he just barreled through this without so much as a thought.

Making someone look innocent had never been so easy.

Of course, the jury might also be softening because of the huge fluttering Disney thing Annie has going with her eyes.

*

The man was talking really slowly. On TV the jury members don't take so long – _what did he just say?_

She turned to Jeff. "Not guilty?" He was grinning. It turned into a smirk as he nodded.

"Absolutely innocent, baby."

She shouldn't have hugged him so tight. She's pretty sure he's attracted to only her calm murderess side, and squealing and hugging doesn't fit that image so well.

But he was hugging her back and she could hear Pierce coming up behind her and she'd already got some awesome bathroom sex out of Jeff, right?

*

They met again at a park. He was running – she had a quick mental image of him stripping that black tee shirt off to show a sweaty amazing torso - when he saw her sitting on a bench, reading something, and he made his way towards her.

She said yes to his offer of dinner, and dropped a broad hint about how Pierce was out of town and there would be no one at her house that night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Five Times Annie and Jeff Got Together in Decidedly Non-Greendale, Non-Shirley Approved Ways**  
Or  
**Shirley Disapproved**

Part Four

_In Which He Steals… (and so does she)_

Jeff walked into the alley just as he heard a new song from inside the club start up.

He walked into the alley carefully, mindful of the garbage bins lying overturned on the sides. (He's all for style, and this club definitely has that, but the alley doesn't have to look one-hundred percent like something out of a creepy horror movie. Or an awareness film about keeping your surroundings clean.)

Stopping in front of the metal door, he knocked and raised his eyebrow at the eyes that peered out from behind the window in the door that had suddenly opened.

He heard a faint "cool, cool, cool" beneath the creaks and bangs of the door's bolts being opened.

"Jeff."

He grinned and stepped inside. "Abed. I thought the owner of the club is too important to man the door."

Abed turned and led Jeff in (not that it was required; Jeff was one of the only six people in the world who had the plans to the club).

"Yeah, I didn't want to do it, but Starburns got arrested again."

Jeff sighed. "Again? This must be his seventeenth arrest."

"Yep. Troy said we should fire him. I don't really mind, but we'd be short on staff then, and neither one of us wants to keep manning  
the door. So we got Dean Pelton looking for someone."

Jeff stopped in his tracks and Abed turned around, a sly look in his eyes. He knew exactly how much Jeff hated Craig Pelton, which is probably why the man had asked the Community College Dean for help anyway.

"I hate you."

"Yeah… Troy invited him over tonight as a thank you for the help."

What was it Jeff had heard those idiotic twelve year olds at the car wash say? Facepalm?

He considered it, then shook his head and brushed past Abed. There was no need to mess up the Winger System - "Fuck."

*

Annie wasn't really sure what she was doing in GCC.

Well, usually, she was there to dance, seeing as it was the most sophisticated and mysteriously named club in Greendale. (A lot  
of people had toyed with the idea that Troy and Abed had just shortened "Greendale Community College", but had decided it was too obvious.)

But right now, GCC was the most dangerous place for her to be in. Her landlord had slipped her a note earlier in the day from Ira Taft (her neighbour and second-hand-man to Greendale's biggest mob-boss) telling her that he'd heard that Britta Perry had been asking around about her.

(She was under Ira's protection, since she used to babysit for his kids and still helped him bitch about his green-haired bitchy ex-wife.)

Everyone knew who was closest to Britta. Winger and Hawthorne.

Oh, in the normal law-abiding world, all three of those names were respected. No one disliked the prettiest therapist in town, the best defence lawyer Greendale had, or the CEO of Hawthorne Wipes.

But in the less law-abiding world, their names were uttered with even more reverence. No group had managed to surpass Winger's community (so the rumours said he called it).

There had been _rumoured_ to be six.

There was a bet going that Shirley Bennett, the mother with the bakeshop and thinly veiled rage issues, was the fourth group member, because Winger, Hawthorne and Britta were seen on numerous occasions with Shirley's kids, her husband, and her.

A strobe light from some part of the club reflected off Annie's watch, and she smiled at it. The watch was barely a few hours old.

She'd bought it when she won the reward Ian Duncan had posted for names of the last two group members.

(He basically ruled bookie-land in Greendale.)

Looking up, she focussed on the man leading some tall person into the club. A slightly shorter guy weaved through the still sparse crowd to shake the second man's hand enthusiastically.

She didn't have a hard time recognising them, despite the club's lighting and the people mingling in between her and the men.

Just like she hadn't had a hard time guessing who were the last two members of Winger's group.

Abed and Troy.

Then the third man walked past Abed and Troy towards the bar on the far side of the room, and her blood ran cold.

Now she recognised him. And she wasn't a bit happy about who this man was.

Jeff Winger.

*

"Hey."

"Is she here?"

"Yep. Sitting on one of those awesome couches."

"Good. I think you were a little obvious in asking around for her, Britta. Leonard told Pierce something about Ira Taft getting  
protective of her."

"Well it doesn't really matter so much anyway. It's not like we want her to kill someone. Annie's a good kid and Troy swears he  
saw her around Slater's house the night that pretentious trophy of hers went missing."

"I'm not doubting asking her, squirrel. I'm just saying you Britta'd the whole 'surreptitiously finding out where she stays' thing."

Britta glared at him and he frowned back.

She had to get over her grudge against that term.

"Uhh, guys?" Abed tapped Jeff on the shoulder. "Annie's trying to leave."

The two of them looked up quickly in annoyance. Sure enough, Annie was calmly threading through the crowd.

He took a few seconds to admire the girl's legs, before nodding at Troy and Abed. The brilliance of going to a club owned by Troy  
and Abed was (besides the free food and drinks) that they had installed every awesome thing possible into the club. Including things like a secret den underneath the club, a dusty old wine cellar, and doors the two of them could lock with just a click of the button.

Troy took out a sinister looking black remote and clicked one of the three theatrically big, red buttons on it.

*

Annie reached the exit door. She needed to get out of there before Jeff Winger could talk to her.

She'd had a drug problem in high school, and right now, she had a new addiction.

The first time she'd stolen something, she'd picked a wallet out of the coat pocket of some businessman. He never realized it was gone.

She kept pick pocketing for a while, just to get that extra money she needed to rent her an apartment and enrol in community college, after her mother kicked her out of her house.

In her second year at Greendale, she started getting a little fidgety.

After a while, all she could think of was stealing again. She wanted the thrill.

But pick pocketing didn't give it to her anymore.

Slowly, just like her earlier addiction, she started stealing bigger and bigger things, just for a thrill.

Annie just needed one more push, and she'd become a proper _Danny Ocean_-type thief.

That push would be Jeff Winger, she had no doubt about it. (He was pretty much the Danny Ocean of Greendale, anyway.)

But Annie didn't want it. She didn't want to steal, she didn't want to be a bad person.

She raised her hand and tried pulling the door open.

"Tried" being the operative word.

Damn it.

*

"Look, princess, stop looking so worried. It's not like we're a mob family trying to kill you."

"Yeah. Think more along the lines of Ocean's Eleven. The recruitment part."

"Man, that show was awesome."

"We're all a family and we just want one more member."

"We need another woman. Your kind is ruthless."

"Pierce! Look, Annie, I told these guys about you and how awesome you are-"

"You were my therapist, you had no right to! What happened to confidentiality?"

"…Jeff broke through my contract in half-an-hour."

"Well, you _obviously_ need a better contract!"

"If you joined, I'd give you one of my famous nicknames. How about Big Boobs?"

"Come on, Annie. We used to be in high school together! This way we have a second chance at being friends."

"Oh, that's nice."

"-well it's not like I had to tell them nice things-"

"-should never have trusted you-"

"-in fact, having another woman in this group would just make things harder-"

"-all that 'big sister' crap you spouted-"

Jeff sighed and closed his eyes briefly, pinching the bridge of his nose to ward away a stress headache.

"Your addition to our family would make our show sweeter, and your character would be exactly what we needed…"

He drew the line there. Quickly, he raised his hand and mimed zipping all their mouths shut.

Silence. Even from Annie (proof she fit in).

"Guys, why don't I walk Annie back home as I tell her more about our plan. We'll let her sleep on it and talk to her tomorrow, okay?"

*

_Nonononononononononono._

_Shut up._

_Stop making me look!_

_Please. You don't have another person inside you, I_am _you. The part with hormones. And Hormone! Annie wants herself some  
Winger butt._

_Oh my god, no._

She's going crazy. Right? Who else would let every rational though fly clean out of her mind at the sight of an awesome butt in tight jeans?

Jeff turned and gestured towards the dark car they were standing close to. (Probably a Lexus, she's not sure…)

"I thought you were walking me back home." She said, grownup! Voice at maximum volume.

Jeff smirked (and made her chest get all warm and fluttery like when she first got a good look at him after he'd cornered her at the GCC exit earlier). "That was just talk. There's no way I'm walking alone in that craptastic mob neighbourhood you live in."

She gasped in indignation. "It's not craptastic!" She got an idea and was about to tell him that if he was uncomfortable to go near her neighbourhood, she could go home alone, but just as she opened her mouth, he unlocked the shotgun seat's door and held it open.

Chivalry, really? Why was he doing this to her?

*

If she didn't get in the car fast, he'd probably do something stupid like kiss her. The moon is out and almost full and is making her pale skin look really good, and the one steady shine is making her easier to focus on, so he can appreciate her chest a lot more _and this is not a good way to start things off, okay?_

She walked forward and got into the car, flashing him a tiny smile that suddenly looked a little sultry.

Now he's definitely turned on.

*

She had no idea what lead either of them to this moment, but she didn't care, because one of Jeff's hands was pushing her dress's hem up slowly from her thigh and the other is in her hair, cementing her face to his.

Which she incidentally had never thought was a sexy image until that moment.

Books and erotic fanfiction can say whatever they want about cramped car sex, but she thought it was awesome. Jeff was tall and she was short and sitting on his lap in the driver's seat meant she had to push herself as close to him as possible, so it was all working out _great_.

Then his hand moved from the hemline of her dress to the inside of her thigh and went…

Oh hell. Screw trying to steal money from Greendale Community College's Air Conditioning Annexe's vault. She'd try stealing the Mona Lisa if he promised to keep doing that to her every night.

*

Jeff exhaled and leaned back into the car seat. He has no idea how, but a twenty two year old just got him to have mind blowing  
sex with her in the backseat of his car. It's a damn good thing he'd just got his windows re-tinted.

Annie moved feebly in his arms, then groaned and fell back onto his chest.

"I can't find it in me to move."

He let out a short laugh and tightened his arms around her waist. "I haven't even tried."

She stiffened a little and looked up at Jeff. There was something that looked like resignation mixed with confusion in her eyes.

He generally had a problem with that combination.

Then she explained that she had been totally okay with the idea of joining the group while they'd been having sex.

(Which sounded really wrong when he put it that way, but it hadn't when she had used a completely different sentence structure.)

Then she sighed. "I want to help. And Britta used to be cool, and Troy was right about a second chance at being friends, and I really want free drinks from Abed and really great sex from you and… you know,_friends_."

He should be running from this teeny thing that seems inclined to be a little neurotic, but he did have good sex and she's sweet as well as neurotic.

"Be friends with the rest of them. Maybe you and I can work out an arrangement for_us_."


	5. Chapter 5

"Do me a favour, Jeff, will you?"

"I'm sorry, Annie. I didn't hear anything after '_do me'_. Which, as I've told you, I'd be more than willing to do."

Annie Edison rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair. "Look, I'm kinda serious."

Jeff Winger leaned forward, his blue twinkling. "Only kinda?"

"Winger. Come on."

"Okay, okay. I was going to get some coffee after leaving. You done here, Ms. Sexy Receptionist?"

Annie shook her head in reluctant amusement and got up, switching off her computer with one hand and reaching for her coat with the other.

"Yes, sir, Bossman." She said dryly.

"Then move it, Princess."

"So, in short, you had a drug addiction in high school, your mom kicked you out of the house for wanting to go to rehab, you went to community college, paid your way through with scholarships and some weird job selling eggs, then got a job at my law firm as my receptionist."

Annie nodded, her hands curled around a mug of hot chocolate. "Pretty much."

Jeff leaned back, looking impressed. "You seriously went to rehab and got yourself an apartment without any help?"

Annie shrugged. "I cleaned out the bank account my mom had kept for me in case of emergency before she had time to do it herself, and saved every penny of that and, um, tooth fairy money."

"There's no way you still lost your teeth at the age of eighteen, Edison."

"Fine. Think of it as an… older version of the tooth fairy."

Jeff raised his eyebrows incredulously, before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Okay, whatever. I'm with you so far. What favour do you need?"

Annie looked down, letting her hair fall in front of her face, then took a deep breath and looked back up at her boss.

"Okay. So, um. My mom sort of, contacted me a month ago. She, uh… fell in love with someone, and is getting married."

Jeff motioned her to go on.

"This weekend."

"Oookay. So?"

"I have a great life now, and a good respectable job and salary. I just need to show my mom… um, that… ."

For a second, Annie hoped that Jeff hadn't understood her, so she could backtrack, but the smirk spreading on his face made it clear he had.

"And what would I get in return, Edison, for this spectacular weekend con job you want me to be a part of?"

Annie took a deeper breath than before. This was going to be hard, mostly because she knew he'd gloat.

"The one thing you've been wanting from me for ages."

Enjoying the look of absolute dumbfounded shock on the undeniably handsome face in front of her, Annie took a large gulp of hot chocolate.

Jeff raised his right hand.

She managed to squish down the little voice in the corner of her mind that was happy she was finally going to sleep with Jeff Winger after months of denying herself before it could really say anything, and shook it.

"Are you serious, Winger?"

"Shirley, stop judging me and just tell me if it's more appropriate for me to wear a grey suit or the black suit, when my, um, _date_ is wearing dark blue."

"Nothing about this whole _deal_ of yours is appropriate!"

"Shir-"

"Oh, no you don't Winger! I've met that girl, and she is sweet, and kind and you're going to corrupt her with your blasphemous deal and pre-marital sex!"

"I'm not _selling_ her Shirley. And it wasn't _my_ idea. Also, don't pretend like you and Andre didn't have sex before your wedding, because I've counted, and there is no way your eldest kid was conceived exactly on your wedding night, because Abed makes surprisingly accurate charts and he went back all those years."

"My son – argh, stop trying to distract me, Jeffrey! Thi-"

"Fine. Screw it. I'll decide on my own."

"Jeffrey, if you hang up on me-"

_Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep._

"Um, I'm wearing sunny yellow for the wedding. It's in the afternoon in some courtyard or something, so... Grey silk is perfect. Wear that tie Prissy Allen gave you last Christmas to get in your pants… Yeah. That one…. God, Jeff, I know her name isn't Prissy, but she's such a… _right?_ And what you just said is thrice as insulting as what I was saying!"

Britta shook her head and tried to block out thoughts of how similarly evil Annie and Winger could be.

Not that gossiping was evil, exactly.

"Don't worry, I intend to get out of there as fast as possible… The reception is in some hotel in Riverside… Don't worry, if there isn't alcohol, I'll bring a bottle of Macallen… uh, _duh_ I know. You're anal about that crap – it's just scotch, stop whining… When are you picking me up tomorrow? Oh, okay. Come upstairs, don't just wait downstairs…. Yeah. Bye."

Annie cut the call and tossed her cellphone at Britta, who was sitting on her pillow. She plugged it back into the charger, and set it on the bedside table carefully, before looking up.

Annie caught her expression, and sighed. She'd been waiting for Britta's lecture.

"God, Annie, are you sure about this? You're crazy in love with this bastard, are you sure you want to gamble any chance you may have on your shitty mom's wedding?"

Annie sighed and sat down on the corner of her bed, slumping a little. "I don't have a chance otherwise, Britta! Jeff and I… we'll never be anything, unless I try tweaking the situation a little. He likes me as a friend, values me as a receptionist and seriously wants to sleep with me. But he's never going to put all of that together. Ever. This is my only chance…"

"Sleeping with him is the only way you're gonna get him to put it all together?"

"No. The _wedding_ is. About twenty four hours together is what I need. Away from the office, so he sees me as a real human for long enough to just maybe sprout some feelings."

"And the sex is your safety, huh?"

"I'm selfish and self-destructive. If this doesn't work, I'll try at least being some sort of receptionist-with-benefits."

"You're twenty three. You can use the term 'fuck buddy', you know."

Annie got up and threw the socks she'd been holding into her bag with a smack. "I'm repressed. You know that."

Britta snorted and pulled the odd pair of socks out of Annie's bag. "Says the girl who plans to seduce her boss."

"Says the girl desperately in love with a man thirteen years he senior."

"You make it sound like you have shitty odds."

"I do."

"Please. I've seen him look at you."

Jeff parked his Lexus and got out, making sure to lock it. He was really glad Annie wasn't staying in the neighbourhood she told him she used to during college.

No, seriously. He couldn't imagine leaving his car alone in that creepy neighbourhood for even five minutes.

While waiting for the elevator doors to open, Jeff caught sight of the mailboxes on one side of the wall. There was a smiley that had been sharpied onto Annie's.

He turned away with a frown, trying to quash down the feelings inside of him, which had been getting alarmingly harder and harder in the past month or so.

Guilt, because Annie was _thirteen years_ younger than him.

Affection, which scared him shitless, because it wasn't the affection he felt for Abed or Shirley.

The elevator dinged.

_Oh, look, one more emotion,_Jeff thought dourly. _Dread._

"And that's old Uncle Bigfree."

Jeff frowned and looked down at Annie, who smiled. "I don't know. It's just some name all the kis in the family would call him. I didn't know his real name for the longest time."

"So what is his real name?"

"…um."

Jeff grinned.

Dancing with Annie was a lot of fun.

Mostly because every time he twirled her around or pulled her closer, she'd blush.

Also, she'd laugh. And a laughing Annie in a light yellow dress?

He was turning to mush.

What was this woman doing to him?

She couldn't be happier. With every passing moment, she felt Jeff's gaze getting softer and warmer and… god, he was making her insides feel like they had drunk butterflies in them.

Annie's mother was…. A bitch. No two ways about it.

Well, she was obviously trying hard not to judge Annie for her older "boyfriend" and be nice. But it was also pretty obvious (at least to him) that she had only finally decided to re-build her relationship with her daughter because of guilt.

He could get that this uptight woman with clear cut idea of the world would find it hard to cope with the idea of her daughter using pills in high school, but it had been years since then. The lady had never…

But he reached the 'bitch' conclusion when he saw Annie wipe away a tiny tear of happiness when she saw her mother say "I do".

As he reached over and pressed a kiss onto her temple, Annie leaned into him with a sigh and his insides turned into (healthy) cookie dough again.

Annie walked out of the bathroom and turned back to the huge room her mother (_Mrs. Siegal_, now) had rented for her reception.

She walked in and started looking for Jeff.

…and found him just in time to see him take a business card from a tall, leggy red-head with a flirty smile.

Of course.

Of course her day had been too good to be true.

Looking down, she gritted her teeth for a second before walking towards Jeff and taking her glass of wine from his hand (the card had disappeared).

She may have been aiming a smile at the man, but all Annie wanted to do was burst into tears.

Sex only, then.

"God, I never want to do that again." Jeff said, looking up at Annie from his seat on the couch in their hotel room. "Do you know how many times your new step-dad's creepy aunt flirted with me? It was freaking creepy."

Annie smiled in the mirror as she carefully took off her lip gloss. "His old aunt Delilah?"

Jeff nodded and reached to his left for the glass of Macallen perched on the little table next to him. "Were there other creepy aunts there, Annie?"

Turning around, she grinned. "I do have one niece, you know."

Dropping the glass back onto the table, he met her eyes. "Hey. You are nothing like a creepy aunt."

Advancing towards him slowly, Annie smiled as seductively as she could. "Really?"

"What am I then?"

She straddled him on the couch, feeling his hands move up to her thighs.

"I don't want to have sex with you."

"Excuse me?"

"When we get back to Greendale, I want to take you out on a date."

"Look, you held up your end of the bargain, you don't nee-"

"I really want to."

"Bu-"

Jeff let out a frustrated sigh.

"Annie. How can I put this in plainer terms? I want to see if we could… you know… have like a…"

"A… a what?"

Jeff looked up in time to see an expression he had never seen before in Annie's eyes.

It was some mixture of fright, eagerness, vulnerability and… love.

"A relationship, Annie."

She sagged down into Jeff's arms.

Maybe not the sexiest thing ever, but…

"Whoa, hey, Annie. What's wrong?" Jeff asked in alarm, arms tightening around her.

She shook her head and buried it into his neck. "Just… don't let go."

"Well, there goes your plan out the window." Annie said, as soon as she got her breath back.

Jeff turned his head on the pillow and gave her a lazy grin.

"Fine. So we had sex tonight. I still want to date you."

"God, stop saying that. You make my insides feel…."

"Like mush?"

"Like drunk butterflies."

"Aah. The mosh pit."

"And you know where that leads you."

"Sex."

"Yep."

"Wild, awesome sex on a hotel room bed."

_(somehow, he manoeuvred them onto the hotel room bed, never once taking his lips off hers)_

"Jeff!"

"You're denying that's what happened?"

"…no."

Jeff smirked.

_(she smirked at the look of absolute bliss on his face)_

"You're going to have to give me some time to recover, though."

_(she barely had time to move her head from his chest before he pinned her arms above her head)_

Annie smiled and cuddled into him, laying her head on his bare, sweaty shoulder.

_(her hands gripped his shoulders tighter as his mouth descended onto her chest)_

"We could just sleep and do this again later. Tomorrow. Or in Greendale. Or just… later sometime."

"In my bed at home, maybe."

"Your office, maybe."

He looked down at her hopeful face and grinned. "Nice. Court bathroom?"

"Car."

"I may just be in love with you, Annie Edison."

Abed woke up with a start.

Looking around wildly, he tried to make some sense of his surroundings. The wild disjointed dreams he'd just experienced were keeping him from making any progress.

"Abed?"

Troy. Of course. The one person he could always count on to be there.

"Did you have a nightmare? I told you we should get our nightlight fixed!"

The world shifted into place, and Abed saw Troy sitting on the ground in their blanket fort bedroom, holding a Biology textbook (there was a test the next day on three chapters).

Faintly, he could hear music coming from Annie's room (she had trouble sleeping the night before any test, so made her phone play instrumental music while she was in bed).

Looking down at his hands, Abed looked up at Troy, who was looking a little concerned. "I just had the strangest bunch of dreams."

"Like the ones we keep sharing?"

"No. Stranger. They were all about Annie and Jeff getting together in an AU setting."

"You just wrinkled my brain, man. And not in a good way. But not in a bad way."

"I'll explain." Troy looked at him. Abed hurried on. "We need to get Jeff and Annie together."

"Oh." Troy leaned back into his seat. "Well, that'll be easy. Shirley saw them sneak out of a closet in school earlier today. She seemed kinda mad about it, really."

Abed's eyes widened. "Shirley disapproved."


End file.
